Bossypants

Do you want to know if your new lady acquaintance is a potential best friend? Ask her if she thinks she would be friends with Tina Fey, IRL.* If she responds with "Dude if Tina Fey knew me we'd totally be best friends!" then you know she is cool enough to maybe be your biff. Tina Fey: The New Litmus Test for Assessing Friendship Potential.

This book is so great. So great and funny. I especially enjoy the chapter on Tina's dad, Don Fey, who my grandfather would have probably wanted to be best friends with. SEE - it's genetic.

You know what's weird? I have a great for reals best friend and she kind of looks like Tina Fey. And she says Liz Lemon-y things like "I'm terrified that someone might be crying in the Starbucks I'm working in right now. ROBOT NO WANT EMOTION."

Life is great.

5 terrifying man arms out of 5.

*In Real Life. As opposed to fantasy life, where you are TF are already best friends who solve mysteries together and are heiresses to an ice cream fortune. And Amy Poehler is there too, naturally.

The Emperor of All Maladies

Remember in Kindergarten Cop where Arnold says "It's not a too-mah!"? This book is a point-by-point rebuttal of that statement proving that, most likely, it is a tumor.

You'll learn a lot, you'll cry, you will not laugh, you'll come face to face with your own mortality...

Be prepared to spend some time feeling for lumps and bumps after reading, is all I'm saying.

3.5 irregular moles out of 5.