The Wave

Two giant ships are lost every week in the ocean. As Casey points out, if 747s were disappearing at that rate there would be some considerable hubbub. I know what you're thinking: That's the price we pay for trespassing in the territory of the Great Kraken. Well, get ready to have your mind blown, because it's not giant squids bringing these ships down - it's waves. Water, dawg! And no one knows exactly what causes them or where they're going to appear. Oh, and just in case I haven't melted your brain yet, there are people out there trying to surf these 100+ foot tall monsters. Laird Hamilton, you crazy son of a bitch. This book is a non-stop adrenaline fueled thrill ride.

4 broken surfboards out of 5.

The Living Dead 2

Zombies are best enjoyed in short bursts. There's only so much gore and running and watching a loved one get bit that can happen before you get bored. When the real zombie apocalypse happens am I going to yawn and go back to bed? If guess I only have myself to blame for o.d.'ing on zombie fiction if so. Quality ghouls over quantity! Which is kind of funny when you're talking about zombies.

P.S. This collection does have the distinction of containing the most disgusting story I have ever read. It is about a zombie gigolo. It was entered into a disgusting story competition and did not win. I never want to read the story that did.

2 rotting limbs out of 5.

Mini Shopaholic

There comes a point in this book when the main character (the original shopaholic, now mother of the title "mini") has an inner monologue that goes like this "She's looking like me like I'm crazy. And maybe I am. But I have to keep doing this. I have to." But, you know what crazy lady? You don't. The crazy has ceased to be cute, or funny, or even the slightest bit relatable. In the first book, ok, who hasn't tried to hide their entire wardrobe by shoving it in vacuum bags and shoving it in a closet, only to have it explode everywhere? Uh, no, just me? Anyway - maybe it's the post-recession me, but Becky Bloomwood needs to get her act together. Maybe if there were consequences to her nutbar behavior beyond eye-rolls, she would, but in her reality everyone loves her anyway. Must be nice! Ugh. I'm shopaholic-ed out.

1.5 overdue credit card bills out of 5.

World Made By Hand

In a lot of post-apocalyptic novels, the world ends in a ridiculous explosion of explosions and vampires and zombies and vampire zombies and then the narrative is about the normal people left over trying to fight off zombie vampire explosions. This quiet book takes a different tack, imagining a world that, ok, ended in a couple of big explosions and then just slowly churned on. Basically everyone is forced to become Amish, except people still fight back when they get ice cream cones shoved in their faces.

I liked this book but I wished for a bit more drama. Also the food descriptions got a little pornographic. I guess when there's no electricity you embrace the simple pleasures but I got a little tired of reading about creamed chicken stew and pullet eggs.

An enjoyable but forgetful 2.5 handmade beeswax candles out of 5.

Ravens

Airport book. About a 2 hour flight long. Definitely requires the old imagination to stretttttch a bit at times, but I kept turning those pages. The basic premise is a dysfunctional family in a small town wins the mega mega mega millions, and some drifters (or grifters? I wouldn't want to paint all drifters with the same brush, I'm sure there are nice ones out there) get wind of it and one of them decides to "encourage" the family to split their winnings with him. The problem with having a psychopath as one of your main characters is that the reader has to deal with pages of crazy ramblings. They get old. Still, some authors can handle it better than others, and this guy was able to edge things closer to the Stephen King end of the scale, as opposed to the Dean Koontz end.

3 psycho rambling monologues about God and destiny and evil out of 5.

Dexter by Design

Oh, book Dexter. You are so similar too, yet crucially different from TV Dexter. I like you both, I do, but I have to tell you that TV Dexter is much more likeable. And he has better plot-lines. AND he doesn't pun nearly as much as you do. So I'm leaving you, book Dexter. While you've been a nice piece on the side between seasons, I feel it's dishonest to continue to half-heartedly read you while picturing Michael C. Hall. For what it's worth, I do really prefer your plot-line for Lt. Doakes. Good luck in the future. Please don't call.

2.5 bloody knives out of 5.

Stories: All New Tales

An adorable sea monster on the cover? Love at first sight. The stories were a mixed bag - some were great, others forgettable, others skipped. Some of the highlights were Kurt Andersen's Human Intelligence, which had the great image of an alien base hidden under the arctic ice; Carolyn Parkhurst's Unwell, which features a not-so-nice little old lady; and Neil Gaiman's story about crime and punishment in "The Black Mountains."

3 adorable sea monsters out of five.