Doctor Sleep

It's hard for me to give an unbiased review of any Stephen King book. From the ages of 13-18 he was like my surrogate boyfriend*: staying up late with me, telling me all about things my parents definitely didn't want me to know about, and scaring the bejeesus out of me (that's how love works, right? Help meee). 

And after I went to college and started slutting around, literature-wise (how you doin', Sarah Waters? Looking good, Michael Chabon!), we stayed on great terms. I no longer needed to have his latest hot off of the presses, but when I did get to it I'd always feel a rush of nostalgia and hum a little Buck Owens. Best of all, it felt like we were maturing together! Lisey's Story & Full Dark, No Stars managed to become two of my favorites by him - still plenty of thrills & chills; no terrifying clown demons needed. 

And now, this! A sequel to The Shining. The SHINING you guys. Arguably his most famous novel, definitely one of his best - so dark and layered and ominous and if all you know is the movie, you gots to get on that mass market paperback train, yo. That movie is great but it might as well have been an Asylum joint called "The Gleaming," for how little it holds true to King's plot and vision. 

Have you read The Shining?

You've read it?

For sure - like, you know what happens with the...and then the...and you know that he doesn't....?

Okay, you may proceed.

So, Danny Torrance is all grown. He's a drunk and a drifter, haunted by both his father's addictions and the remnants of the Overlook's evil. His shining proves to have an upside, though, as he finds work at a hospice and discovers he can help soothe the patients as they die. Hence: Dr. Sleep. 

His story is told in tandem with that of a little girl born a few towns over, Abra, who has unusually strong shining abilities - unfortunately they're so powerful that they attract the attention of some shine-sucking immortal vampiric creatures who travel around the U.S. in RVs torturing similarly gifted little kids and slurping up their sweet shine-juice. Yup, these dudes are no good, and Danny and Abra are going to take. Them. Down! Shine Twins activate!

Here's where the bias comes in: is it a little goofy? Yes. Is it scary? Not especially, though there are definitely some uneasy passages (Stephen King why do you keep trying to ruin bathtubs/indoor plumbing for me?!).

Did I love it? OF COURSE I DID. I'm no longer a young, bookish loner who needs paperbacks to get her heartbeat racing. I'm an old, bookish loner who can watch Breaking Bad whenever she needs to feel alive again. I'm okay with a book by an old friend (Stevie!) that brings back another old friend (Danny!), and lets him fight crime with a cute, precocious teen. I've gone soft, and that's cool.** Stephen King has, too, apparently....for now.

BIASED REVIEW: Stephen King Stephen Kings out of Stephen King. 

UNBIASED REVIEW: 3 goofball Mystery-style velvet top-hats out of 5.

*so much hotter than having an ACTUAL boyfriend, you guys

**I even teared up a the end...you know the part with ___? Where he helped him by ___? And it was like aaahhhhh of course!!!??? And then he looks back? Yeah that part. *Sniff*

The Shining Girls

On the surface, this book had many things that I love: A psychopath. Time travel. A May-December romance (Harrison Ford I still love you bb). Sophisticated 1920s era lesbians. Etc, etc.

And...yet. The sum is less than its parts. I've read some of Beukes' previous novels, and she certainly has a real knack for imaginative plot devices and world-building. In this story of one man sowing murder and madness through the decades via a time-portal in an old house, I wasn't bothered by the fact that the hows and whys of the time travel wasn't explained. The creaky old house with the boarded up windows, full of treasures the killer has stolen from his "shining girls," was creepy and evocative enough for me - I didn't need that bogged down with a "scientific" explanation of how the villain skipped through the years and found his victims. But what I can't excuse is the lack of motive, or really any depth of characterization, in his character. He's barely more than a sketch - and as a result a lot of what he does feels completely random. Is he a drunk? Was he abused? Just insane? A misogynist? An opportunist? What the hell is his story, and why do I care?

The heroine, Kirby, is slightly more fleshed out. However, I still didn't find her very compelling. Also I hate the name Kirby. Sorry, Kirby. Her boss/mentor/love interest was equally mild. I kept picturing him in those sad dad sweaters, which didn't help (You know: a chunky textured knit, maybe in a forest green. The sweater equivalent of that 'wommp wommp' sound).

Funnily enough, the characters that stood out the most to me were the "shining girls" that are stalked and murdered in short interstitial chapters. From different eras, with different struggles - in those concise sections their lives are richly imagined. The killer is drawn to them because of their potential, which seems to "shine" from them - and the writing certainly reflects this. Too bad the rest of the book had to suffer.

2 unlicensed haruspices* out of 5.

*Look it up, dummy.