The Orphan Master's Son

This one is a doozy. It feels like historical fiction, because everything about North Korea's oppressive regime seems like something that should no longer exist in the world. It feels like satire, or parody, for the same reasons. It's almost reminiscent of Catch-22 in some parts...but then you stop reading and start Googling to get more information on North Korea and...you stop smirking. Quickly.

What Adam Johnson has written is a sweeping tragic romance /adventure story; a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel that explores what might be lost by people living in a society where every intimacy is suspect and self-expression is a dangerous endeavor. And imagines what they might be able to hold onto, despite it all. It took me a few chapters to get into it - I almost felt a little culture shock. But by the half-way point, I couldn't put it down. The story of Jun Do, an orphan, wanders improbably from nefarious missions to fishing boats to Texas (!) to prison camps...and that's just the first half. Johnson never loses the thread, and his characters are beautifully and hauntingly realized. Even when inserting a real-life figure into his fiction, it's done skillfully and naturally enough that you don't find yourself raising your eyebrows and saying 'Hey! That guy!' (aka The Forrest Gump effect).

Read this book. Go where it takes you. Learn more - and consider a donation. Feel all the things!

4.5 Dear Leaders out of 5.

Welcome to Night Vale

Let's call this the "See Jane Listen" edition of the blog. Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast, but it's produced by a publishing house, so technically we're all in the clear here.

I'm only a few episodes in to the twice-monthly podcast that started in June, so if it jumps the shark 20 eps in or is revealed to be another weird Kanye marketing tie-in, don't hold this review against me. But so far - I'm into it.

It's presented as broadcasts from the local radio station a not-so-sleepy small town. The creators have described Night Vale as "a little desert town where all the conspiracy theories are true." It doesn't seem to phase the voice of the program, Cecil, who describes community bake sales & strange glowing gas clouds that rain dead animals with equal aplomb and bemusement. He only seems to get flustered when talking about the mysterious scientist, Carlos, who arrives in town with perfect hair, weird instruments, and a tendency to say things like "there's no time!" before running away. I think someone has a crush!

It has some Buffy-esque humor to it, so maybe Night Vale's secret is that it's on top of another Hellmouth. Sunnydale - Night Vale - Sunnydale - Night Vale...hmm. Throw another one on the conspiracy pile!

4 mysterious hooded figures out of 5. Do not look at the mysterious hooded figures.

UPDATE as of 10.01.2013: I stopped listening. So downgrading to 2.5/5. It was fun while it lasted. Listening < Reading. I am curious though, did Cecil ever snag Carlos?!

The Silent Wife

I got married last weekend. Yes - I looked fabulous. Oh, you were going to ask me what I chose to read during this days leading up to this momentous occasion? Obviously I chose A.S.A. Harrison's novel about a marriage torn apart by a lack of passion, the slow march of time, and deep emotional problems. MAZEL!

Thankfully, the book wasn't gripping enough for me to slowly lower it while saying to myself "I've made a huge mistake." I'm having a hard time seeing how this is billed as this season's Gone Girl. While the latter had more twists and turns than an episode of Passions (Timmy!), most of Harrison's novel is coldly realistic. Instead of a bananas thrill-ride with crazy people doing batshit things, it's just sad people doing depressing and predictable things. Ain't nobody got time for that.

When the denouement happens, it's not really a twist or a shock. You know when you sit on a slide, but your skirt rides up, so you awkwardly start to squeeeeak down the thing slowly and everyone looks at you and you get a wicked leg burn?* It's like that. A slow, un-pretty descent into the inevitable.

2 frosty WASP-approved gin & tonics served with a side of regret out of 5.

*Yes, it happened to me recently. Why do you ask?

Wave

I have gone on record as a lover of sad documentaries and non-fiction. I have actually said the words "sometimes a good cry is important," when referring to experiencing things like Dear Zachary, A Day No Pigs Would Die, The Invisible War, Columbine, and One Nation Under Dog.

So, after reading Sonali Deraniyagala's memoir about losing her entire family in the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, I understandably wanted to punch myself in the face. Hard. Books like this, describing devastating experiences like hers, are stark reminders of what a privilege it is to decide to feel like crying.

5 out of 5.

The Lies of Locke Lamora

You know those tumblrs that are mash-ups of Game of Thrones with lines from other TV shows? Arrested Westeros is obviously the best. Others are somehow less than the sum of their parts. This book is like if someone made an amazing Game of Thrones x Ocean's 11 tumblr (A Song of Heist & Fire? That's a freebie; go for it), but, surprise! the tumblr is actually a great fantasy novel with a terrible cover. As you can see.

But inside! You got your lovable band of con-men tricksters, your mysterious villains, your sexy shark-fighting ladies, your sky-high towers made of alien glass, and capers oh so many capers and cons and heists. It's so fun. It should be made into a movie, or, better yet, an HBO miniseries (so hot right now) so we can all spend more time with Locke Lamora and his lovable cabal of mischievous orphan tricksters, The Gentlemen Bastards. That last part sounds pretty cheesy but I promise you, no one breaks into song, and Scott Lynch throws in plenty of swear words and blood & guts.

The world-building is fantastic, just enough detail without overwhelming. I almost wished I knew more about the setting, a Venice-like city called Camorr full of alchemical gardens & floating markets. They have cinnamon lemons there - how good would cinnamon lemonade be? Hey, if there's a nerd out there reading this, please throw a Gentlemen Bastards party with themed food and invite me (I'm nerdy enough to attend, but not host, such gatherings).

Lynch also borrows from the George R.R. Martin school of fuckery and "things that cause readers to yell at your book" at a few points. A great book giveth, and a great book taketh away.

5 cool, refreshing glasses of nerd-brewed cinnamon lemonade out of 5.

Congo

Emboldened by my enjoyable revisit to Jurassic Park & the Lost World, I thought I’d pick up another Crichton novel I barely remembered but knew I’d read in my early teens. Foolish, foolish, Jane. This. Book. Is. Bananas.*The plot DID give me some great ideas for band names though:

• Corporate Jungle Heist
• Parachuting Gorilla
• Killer Police Apes
• Gorilla Ticklers
• Stone Skull Crushers
• Amy & The Blue Diamonds
• The Japanese Consortium

Sure, there is some action when the aforementioned killer police apes start busting out the aforementioned stone skull crushers, but mostly the book is concerned with how one company is going to beat another company to a source of rocks that will make computers faster. There are a lot of sentences that begin “Karen had to upload the data to the satellite uplink to get the new probability for the desired outcome.” Nerds, do NOT tell me if I got that wrong.

So unless you like reading a lot about old technology, just see the movie. Or, don’t – because apparently it’s also pretty bad (Amy the Talking Gorilla was nominated for worst supporting actress and LOST TO MADONNA. BRB going to be laughing about Madge being worse to watch than this for awhile).  

1 out of 5 playtime sessions with All Ball & Koko.

*Um, YEAH pun intended. Are you new here?

Shadow and Bone & Siege and Storm: A Sexy Kick-Ass YA Twofer

A friend* sent me both these books, the first in Bardugo's Grisha Trilogy. I was more than a little over the whole "YA heroine in a dystopian world finds her inner strength and also there's a love trilogy and also Jennifer Lawrence could totally play her in the movie" - you know, that old chestnut. But I'm a sucker for a book with a map in the beginning, and a killer session with Rasputin by Boney M in Just Dance 2 had just gotten me a new high score, so I was open to a story set in an alternate reality best described as Tsarist Russia + witches. And lo -  I was rewarded. 

What I love about this series is that it's dark as shiiiiit. So much YA fiction doesn't have teeth (It took Harry Potter four books before a kid died - where's the fun in that?). Bardugo's Ravka is a messed up land ruled by a milquetoast King and a sexy and mysterious Grisha (basically a wizaaaaaard but sexier? Like, Manganiello stubble instead of a long grey beard? You got it) called the Darkling.  There's a literal rift across the country, in the form of the Unsea, an area of permanent darkness and man-eating monsters; and a metaphorical one, between the powerful Grisha army and the rest of the population, who both need & fear the Grishas' power. Enter the heroine, Alina Starkov. And yes, she's great and written with depth - but The Darkling is the star here, people. So much so that my only criticism is that the books lose some oomph when the story strays too far from the powerful commander-in-chief and his murky motives. 

I read both books in a weekend. I want more. Also CAPES, can capes come back in style? There are mad capes in these books.

In conclusion: Hunger Games? More like HUNGER LAMES. Books 1 & 2 of the Grisha trilogy: 4 dramatic cape swishes out of 5. 

*the friend works for MacMillan, who published these books. Thanks Claire! I need to disclose that? To the 20 people who read this blog? MOM I MADE IT I GOT A FREE BOOK!