Welcome to Night Vale

Let's call this the "See Jane Listen" edition of the blog. Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast, but it's produced by a publishing house, so technically we're all in the clear here.

I'm only a few episodes in to the twice-monthly podcast that started in June, so if it jumps the shark 20 eps in or is revealed to be another weird Kanye marketing tie-in, don't hold this review against me. But so far - I'm into it.

It's presented as broadcasts from the local radio station a not-so-sleepy small town. The creators have described Night Vale as "a little desert town where all the conspiracy theories are true." It doesn't seem to phase the voice of the program, Cecil, who describes community bake sales & strange glowing gas clouds that rain dead animals with equal aplomb and bemusement. He only seems to get flustered when talking about the mysterious scientist, Carlos, who arrives in town with perfect hair, weird instruments, and a tendency to say things like "there's no time!" before running away. I think someone has a crush!

It has some Buffy-esque humor to it, so maybe Night Vale's secret is that it's on top of another Hellmouth. Sunnydale - Night Vale - Sunnydale - Night Vale...hmm. Throw another one on the conspiracy pile!

4 mysterious hooded figures out of 5. Do not look at the mysterious hooded figures.

UPDATE as of 10.01.2013: I stopped listening. So downgrading to 2.5/5. It was fun while it lasted. Listening < Reading. I am curious though, did Cecil ever snag Carlos?!

The Lies of Locke Lamora

You know those tumblrs that are mash-ups of Game of Thrones with lines from other TV shows? Arrested Westeros is obviously the best. Others are somehow less than the sum of their parts. This book is like if someone made an amazing Game of Thrones x Ocean's 11 tumblr (A Song of Heist & Fire? That's a freebie; go for it), but, surprise! the tumblr is actually a great fantasy novel with a terrible cover. As you can see.

But inside! You got your lovable band of con-men tricksters, your mysterious villains, your sexy shark-fighting ladies, your sky-high towers made of alien glass, and capers oh so many capers and cons and heists. It's so fun. It should be made into a movie, or, better yet, an HBO miniseries (so hot right now) so we can all spend more time with Locke Lamora and his lovable cabal of mischievous orphan tricksters, The Gentlemen Bastards. That last part sounds pretty cheesy but I promise you, no one breaks into song, and Scott Lynch throws in plenty of swear words and blood & guts.

The world-building is fantastic, just enough detail without overwhelming. I almost wished I knew more about the setting, a Venice-like city called Camorr full of alchemical gardens & floating markets. They have cinnamon lemons there - how good would cinnamon lemonade be? Hey, if there's a nerd out there reading this, please throw a Gentlemen Bastards party with themed food and invite me (I'm nerdy enough to attend, but not host, such gatherings).

Lynch also borrows from the George R.R. Martin school of fuckery and "things that cause readers to yell at your book" at a few points. A great book giveth, and a great book taketh away.

5 cool, refreshing glasses of nerd-brewed cinnamon lemonade out of 5.

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?

The cover says it all - pink but not cloying, an awkward facial expression, and a title expressing FOMO. This taps into the slightly nerdy, slightly superficial, completely anxious 20-something female experience like nothing else!

Mindy Kaling got her big break by writing and performing in a play based on the idea that Matt Damon & Ben Affleck were trying to adapt The Catcher in the Rye into a movie when the screenplay for Good Will Hunting fell out of the sky into their laps. What's not to love? I have seen the play and it's great, and not unlike reading this book: full of pop culture references, short enough to not get bored with, and perfect to drop into casual conversations to seem smart but not pretentious.

The fact is that by reading this I learned that taking prenatal vitamins will make my hair thick and lustrous, and that's worth the price of a hardcover right there.

4 fad dieting books with titles like "Fat Brain, Fat Body: How Thinking is Sabotaging Your Skinny Soul" out of 5.

The Call

I love this book. Get it and read it. The end.

Oh, fine.

Exhibit A: Farm animals and rural vet stuff. I don't know about you, but I love to read about people who have jobs that I find simultaneously amazing and horrifyingly gross. I don't have it in me to reach into a goat and pull out her kid - but by God I want to read about it.

Exhibit B: A non-threatening spaceship. None of this Independence Day "Welcome to Urf" tentacles and world domination stuff - just pleasant blinking lights. Oh, it's not a spoiler, this isn't shelved in the sci-fi section, calm yourself.

Exhibit C: A contemporary fiction book that isn't all sad people doing sad things. A first-person, journal-style contemporary fiction book that isn't sad people doing sad things! Wonders never cease.

4.5 ruptured cow uteruses (uteri?) out of 5. Ick that's so violent. How about, 4.5 friendly spacemen out of 5. Much better.

Bossypants

Do you want to know if your new lady acquaintance is a potential best friend? Ask her if she thinks she would be friends with Tina Fey, IRL.* If she responds with "Dude if Tina Fey knew me we'd totally be best friends!" then you know she is cool enough to maybe be your biff. Tina Fey: The New Litmus Test for Assessing Friendship Potential.

This book is so great. So great and funny. I especially enjoy the chapter on Tina's dad, Don Fey, who my grandfather would have probably wanted to be best friends with. SEE - it's genetic.

You know what's weird? I have a great for reals best friend and she kind of looks like Tina Fey. And she says Liz Lemon-y things like "I'm terrified that someone might be crying in the Starbucks I'm working in right now. ROBOT NO WANT EMOTION."

Life is great.

5 terrifying man arms out of 5.

*In Real Life. As opposed to fantasy life, where you are TF are already best friends who solve mysteries together and are heiresses to an ice cream fortune. And Amy Poehler is there too, naturally.

Naamah's Kiss

Jacqueline Carey writes sexy books about sexy people. Sometimes these people sleep with everyone but it's ok because they're part of a sexy religion and they have sexy gods. It's a big sex-positive party up in here. And there's a dragon in this one! This book is fun. It's about a girl whose bear god (not one of the sexy gods, unless you're into bears) sends her on a quest to find her destiny!!! that takes her all around the world. This is one of those books that has a map at the beginning. It's basically a map of our world, but everything has a different name (Britain = Alba, China = Chi'in...etc). Does that makes this an alternate history? Or alternate geography? Maybe the author just didn't want to draw a new map. I'm cool with it.

3 heaving bosoms out of 5.