Wool

Much like its namesake fabric, I overall think Wool is pretty great. It's got a kick-ass/take names female protagonist. She is not a sexy teen, romantic angst is not her raison d'etre, and she is good with a wrench. Stoic Power Dream Girl? Howey's dystopia is richly imagined and gets more disturbing and claustrophobic with every detail. ALSO, there are a lot of stairs in the world of Wool, and I swear that just reading so much about people walking up & down them actually made my glutes *slightly* tighter (I want to believe!). There are tons of original ideas in the novel, and I felt like I was reading a new writer with a brain chock full o' fresh - Hallelujah.

But you know how it is - you get a cozy wool sweater, you bundle up in it, and halfway through the day the itching begins. This book definitely had a few itchy spots. Unfortunately, this is a book that's all about the plot and action and twists - and most of my issues were with said twists. So, through the MAGIC of contrasting colors, I present to you some secret text. If you've read the book, highlight below for my spoilery complaints:

[The kids in the second silo?! First of all, they were willing to murder Solo but then came along quietly when Juliette spoke sternly to them? Nope.

Why make Bernard into this grand evil character/super villain, and then deny us the pleasure of seeing him get his come-uppance? I know the twist at the end wouldn't work with the readers knowing it was Bernard and not Lukas, but that didn't play for me either - why would Bernard try to leave the blanket anyway? Was he committing suicide? It doesn't make sense that he would murder anyone who tried to interfere without a thought, but then just lose the will to live when caught & challenged.

Also, the romance. It felt pretty shoe-horned in. I'd have rather had Lukas be Juliette's estranged brother, or maybe a female friend she makes...the book didn't need a star-crossed lovers motif. I'm always incredulous when people fall in love, to the point of risking their lives for each other, via a couple deep conversations and lingering glances. My heart is made of stone and I like it that way - and yes, I think The Notebook is a bad movie. DEAL WITH IT.]

If you've haven't read the book, should you? I'm leaning toward yes - I'll be picking up the next in the series and hoping that Howey keeps getting better & better. I think the world he created is fascinating, and I'd love to see some novels set in it that focus more on the day-to-day of the inhabitants, and maybe the mysteries of their past, vs. political conspiracies & military action. The stage is set, he just needs the right play.

3 stairmasters set to EXTREME out of 5.

Welcome to Night Vale

Let's call this the "See Jane Listen" edition of the blog. Welcome to Night Vale is a podcast, but it's produced by a publishing house, so technically we're all in the clear here.

I'm only a few episodes in to the twice-monthly podcast that started in June, so if it jumps the shark 20 eps in or is revealed to be another weird Kanye marketing tie-in, don't hold this review against me. But so far - I'm into it.

It's presented as broadcasts from the local radio station a not-so-sleepy small town. The creators have described Night Vale as "a little desert town where all the conspiracy theories are true." It doesn't seem to phase the voice of the program, Cecil, who describes community bake sales & strange glowing gas clouds that rain dead animals with equal aplomb and bemusement. He only seems to get flustered when talking about the mysterious scientist, Carlos, who arrives in town with perfect hair, weird instruments, and a tendency to say things like "there's no time!" before running away. I think someone has a crush!

It has some Buffy-esque humor to it, so maybe Night Vale's secret is that it's on top of another Hellmouth. Sunnydale - Night Vale - Sunnydale - Night Vale...hmm. Throw another one on the conspiracy pile!

4 mysterious hooded figures out of 5. Do not look at the mysterious hooded figures.

UPDATE as of 10.01.2013: I stopped listening. So downgrading to 2.5/5. It was fun while it lasted. Listening < Reading. I am curious though, did Cecil ever snag Carlos?!

Them

Like your top five favorite movies or books, everyone has their top conspiracy theory Wikipedia entries.

Mine are:

The Vril (because don't you think it's a little bit suspicious that we NEVER hear ANYTHING about subterranean societies of matriarchal socialist utopian superior beings? I mean, what are you trying to hide mainstream media????)

and

The Philadelphia Experiment (because INVISIBLE!)

Still, they might not make it into your dinner party conversations as much as your desert island reading list because most conspiracy theories are actually pretty grim. For every wacky cloaked battleship or subterranean super being there's ten evil governments killing their own citizens to incite a world war.

Jon Ronson treads the delicate line between absurd and upsetting perfectly in this non-fiction account of "adventures with extremists," just like he did with his fantastic account of psychopaths and the people who exist around them like bugs to be squashed. He tracks down the Bilderberg Group*, hangs out with gun-happy militiamen, and pamphlets London with a rotund Islamic radical. He even experiences the "new" KKK ("now with 50% fewer calories!") and gets to try on their fancy robes, which, for a Jewish guy, was probably quite the harrowing experience.

Bottom line, I love Jon Ronson and everything he writes. Break out your tinfoil hat and start looking over your shoulder - this book is great.

5 shape-shifting, blood-drinking, half lizard Queen Mums (RIP) out of 5!

*Bilderberg Group, really? Come on - if you're ruling the world secretly can't you have a better name like, the Covert Underground Nocturnal Team of Powerful Occult Wiccan Evil Rogues? Think about it...

Game Change

Reading this book is worth it for the moisturizing effects of the John Edwards chapters alone - the grease oozing off of the pages has made my skin smoother and my hair more lustrous (but not so bouncy that anyone would accuse me of a $400 salon visit).

There was enough drama, back-stabbing, and general bitchery in the 2008 elections to make an episode of the Real Housewives look like Romper Room. The highs were dizzyingly high (Obama's speech at the Democratic National Convention!) and the lows were mind-blowingly low ("I can see Alaska from my hooooouse!"). This book is the treasure at the end of the rainbow made of Hilary Clinton's pantsuits. Bring on November 2012 - this book already showed us Obama's faults & failings in the run up to the elections, so I really can't wait for the inside scoop on Mittens Romney - not to mention Herman "There's A Lot of Women I Didn't Sexually Harass" Cain, Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann, Rick "Brokeback Style" Perry , Newt "Child Janitor" Gingrich, and Rick "Santorum" Santorum. OH GOD WRITE GAME CHANGE: 2012 IMMEDIATELY PLEASE.

4 "you betcha's" out of 5.

UFOs

Oh. My. GOD. Let me just say that I believe everything I read, and am also easily frightened, so I should have not picked up this book. But I did, because I enjoy having thoughts like "Can't let my leg fall over the side of the bed because the ALIEN WILL GRAB IT!"

This book will tell you all about the hundreds of sightings by people who know the difference between the reflection of Venus/swamp gas/weather balloons/balloon boys, and actual crazy metal cigar-shaped light-up hyperfast hovering ALIEN SPACE CRAFT. Aiiieeeee they're here and they're going to probe us.

Does Obama know? Does FLOTUS know? Flotus save us! Dazzle the aliens with your sparkle converse and sick dance moves while Barack herds us into the secret bunkers under the Rocky Mountains!

4 tinfoil hats out of 5.

Secret Historian

How do you not pick up a book subtitled "professor, tattoo artist, and sexual renegade"? I kind of want that on my tombstone (but I'll probably end up with "reader, eater of kettle corn, bad dancer").

Samuel Steward taught at a Catholic university, wrote gay pulp fiction, documented all of his sexual encounters, became a tattoo artist, and had "encounters" with Rock Hudson and Rudolph Valentino - AND MORE. And not in that order. His life was full of sadness and passion and craziness and sailor uniforms (so many sailor uniforms!). He had a tattoo of a winged penis on his shoulder. DUDE. Dude.

Do not read this book on public transportation, because you WILL get to the insert with the photos in the middle. Not safe for work or bus.

Samuel Steward aka Phil Sparrow aka Phil Andros - RIP. You crazy bitch.

4 gay sailors out of 5.